'Every new friend is a new adventure... the start of more memories.' Imagine what our world would be without friends and our childhood friends, school friends hold a special place in our lives.
While old friends hold a special place in our hearts, we must always strive to make new friends in a new environment. And, this is an important social and life skill for our children because they need good interpersonal skills to grow and thrive in life, and this is probably one of the crucial stages.
Be it going to a new class, a new school or a new place, making new friends is very important. For some children, it might be quite easy to mingle with others quickly and make new friends based on their traits. However, for others, it might not be as easy.
Making friends is a very personal business. However building a friendship depends on a child’s emotional skills, self-regulation skills, and social competence. And parents can play an important role in the development of these abilities. As parents, we can provide them with tools, confidence, and ideas. We can help them create healthy relationships that can truly become an asset in their lives going forward.
To be able to make new friends and sustain good friendships involves skills that can be learned at home with your family. For example:
Empathy: This is one crucial skill that is not only important for making friends but also for any relationship we know of. And, home is the best place from where kids can pick this skill up.
Communication skills: In modern times, technology endangers the development of good communication among people, even inside a family. Shut off the devices and talk to each other.
Cooperation: Make the kids understand about responsibilities in a family. Work together and help them learn about taking turns and valuing the input of others.
Curiosity: Teach them about to be sharing thoughts urging them to care.
Knowing when to apologize: Teach your child how to apologize for their mistakes, make amends, and forgive the mistakes of others.
Handling emotions: It's normal to have strong and conflicting feelings. When your child does, help them find ways to understand big emotions and manage them.
Here are some ideas for parents to help their children make new friends and imbibe this important social skill for life.
1) Don’t force them: Don’t push them to make friends with everyone. While we must ensure that our children are kind and polite to all, but we shouldn’t pressure or push for them to be friends with everyone. They can keep their close-knit circle of good friends.
2) Find Common Interests: Encourage your child to seek out other children and classmates with common interests. Teach him/her to look for cues that indicate interests. Children may feel more confident approaching a child with similar interests. This does not mean that they cannot friends who doesn’t come under the purview of common interest, but the likelihood of pace of making friends is surely faster. Then, they can gradually move to others as well.
3) Encourage Positive Behaviour: Turn-taking and sharing are two most important positive traits in a healthy friendship. Being respectful of others' space is also one thing that children need to learn and it transforms to become an important skill later in life. If your child is facing issues with these, talk to them or help them understand by using personal examples and activities.
4) Role-playing: Many children often hesitate to talk to new children or ask someone to play. Help them with simple greetings, show them how to approach a child and invite him to play. Role play approaching an existing group of children or a single child. It may be necessary to teach your child how to deal with rejection.
5) Build relationships yourself: Play-dates or frequent interactions with their parents can also be great for getting kids together and through spending time, they can start becoming friends and develop a friendship. They also see and learn from the social dynamics between the parents as to whom they can be good friends.
The idea is to not make friends for them but to help them learn effective ways to interact with others and make good friends in the process. So, help them with the right skills, urging them to use the best of their abilities to find some amazing relationships for life - good friends forever.
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